This Diwali...

I was alone. Not completely though. My memories old and recent were decent enough company. Our childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. I believe that what we remember from childhood we remember forever - stamped, inked, imprinted, eternally seen.

Although I have spent many evenings in my own company, it was different this time. Needless to say, I was homesick…and was visibly upset. Remembrances till date were forming images of all kinds in front of my eyes. Eternally seen, it was indeed.
Nevertheless, I made an attempt to keep my promise to the loved ones. I tried to focus on my work. I was thinking when a beautiful pattern in the dark sky struck my eyes, through the window. Memories again knocked by.
Suddenly, my musings were interrupted by realities. I don’t know how.
I realized that there are countless people who are lonelier than I am. They are lonely not only in their celebration but their strife as well. This, of course, didn’t make me feel better. This wasn’t meant to.

In a world with no right or wrong, ‘justification’ is an unheard term.
People often say that I think too much. I think that everybody thinks, what differs is what we think about. Also often people are not consciously aware that they are thinking.

I got the Diwali night on my own rather, me and the lights and the darkness.

Hope you all had a great Diwali. God bless all!

A writer......Why

I did not want to be disturbed, and wasn't. I knew what I had to do. No matter where we go- an office, a classroom- we have to put the time in. No matter who pays whom, If we quit, we starve. If we don't show up, we're fired.
That's working for somebody else. Writers ususally work for themselves. I am convinced that one of the chief reasons I aspire to be one is that I can't stand working for somebody else. I just can't. It's one of the main reason that anyone becomes a writer: self-motivation.
Like just about every other writer, I have been searching for the right work-schedule. Few hours stretches at night, 1-hour bursts. On trains, classes, coffee-shops, on the floor. The one constant in my schedule is that I work everyday.
I used to badger myself about getting a certain amount completed every day-the minimum-and then ridicule myself for not having done it. I'd count what I hadn't done and punish myself for not living up to it. This practice does absolutely nothing except haul more guilt into the warehouse.
I'm kinder to myself these days. "What's the big rush?" I say to myself. As long as I show up for at least a couple of hours every day. The work will get done. the work has become better. I'm not rushing or anguishing about how much I'll complete in the next week, month or year. Instead, I concentrate on the day's work and when it's done, I reward myself with a chocolate. :)

Do yourself a favour and pick the time ofday when you work the best, or when you can find time. If you have 20 minutes, take them. If before your regular job you can find a half hour, take it. On the contrary, if you keep telling yourself that you need bigger blocks of time, or that you have too many other obligations or you're too tired, you'll have no pages but a lot of excuses.
You've the willingness, you'll make time.